I am so nervous and excited at the same time.

So the moment of truth is here. My mom is at the bank as we speak and now she is going to call my dad and ask him some questions and all and by the end of the week we should now if we need to go to ny or not and sign papers for the bank loan. I want this house so bad. Its perfect for us and we need to get out of the apartment we are in like yesterday. Wish me luck I am going over to my dads now.

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Tuesday is so much closer to Saturday than Monday

Ok so yesterday was Monday and I was already feeling stressed.My dad is always saying that I don’t have anything to be stressed about,but I do. There are tons of things to be stressed about. There’s the girls and there school, I have to convince Angel to go even when there are bullies about. Then there’s this house we are trying to buy, what if we don’t get it? It’s the only house we have seen so far that we can afford and it fits what we need. It’s a four bedroom, with a kitchen, living room and a dinning room. It has two bathrooms, one up stairs and one downstairs. The best thing about it is that there are two bedrooms downstairs so that means that I can have my bedroom downstairs. It has four bedrooms so that means when I want my ma to come visit she can have her own room. I like the fact that I might actually get my own little piece of home. A place where I can put pictures on the walls and have it my way. My paint colors, my kitchen, my room. I can be as ocd as I want and make it super hospital clean.


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Another weekend passes unscathed…..almost.

So it’s Monday, which means another weekend under our belt. Saturday was not so bad. We started our day at 6 a.m. giving out medicine. Then I let them go back to sleep for an hour. When we got up at 7 everybody had there chores to do. Packing to go to my dads for the night like we do every Saturday. It started out that we went to my dads on Sat. because we wanted to help with taking care of Donald my dads girlfriends brother who had brain cancer. We would cook his favorite foods and help him go places when he needed and generally keep him company. After he died sadly, we kept coming over to keep my dad company.

We (Angel and I) cook dinner together for everybody,(about 6 people) while Amber hangs out with my dad(she’s the tomboy) helping him fix things or build things. Amber’s favorite thing to do with my dad is run errands. I think she likes being with him so much because he doesn’t fuss with her. I am kinda like please be still, please be quiet and all because I am always worried that she will aggravate someone. Trust me she has.

So Saturday we went to my dads for around 9:30 so Amber could go with my dad to pick up Jimmy his all around handy man. My dads getting on in age and he cant do some of the things he used to so that’s where Jimmy comes in he can do almost anything and he usually can use the work and my dad can use the help. This weekend he was here to fix Dennis (my dads girl friends other brother) closet and his cabinet in his bathroom. Amber likes Jimmy because he lets her help, retrieving tools and throwing things out and little things she can do. It’s nice. Angel and I spent some time in my dads living room before we had to go to Walmart to pick up the ingredients to make dinner.This weekend it was going to be tacos.

Saturday night Jimmy, Amber, my dad and Dennis watched some t.v. together for a while then they took Jimmy home. I guess I should explain a little about Jimmy because you will hear more about him. My dad met him through a guy at his eagles club. He asked who knew someone who could help with general things around the house and some mechanic work and another member suggested Jimmy. Which he has been a god send not just to my dad because he can do almost anything, but because he is so nice to Ami and it keeps he happy and quiet for a while and out of my hair. I know it sounds mean but if I didn’t get a break sometime I would snap. Amber can get on your last nerve. Anyway Jimmy lives in boarding house with like 3 other people. He has a brother but they don’t get along, and since Jimmy is not to much younger than my dad they mesh real good. My dad get’s work done and someone to hang out with.

Now it was time for Angie and I to go to walmart. Shopping was pretty easy get in shop get out. Cooking although usually isn’t that hard some how this time proved to be a big huge challenge between me and angie. She didn’t want to cook and she didn’t want me to cook either. She stomped around the kitchen, screamed, yelled and wouldn’t let me get any work done for at least 2 hours. I tried explaining to her that we needed to cook dinner and then she could do what ever she wanted to and it was a no go. I tried including her in the process like I always do, even gave her her own cutting board and small knife, nope. I said,”look angie you cant throw a fit like this people are trying to relax and your way to loud.” she didn’t care. Finally I said,”ok well I am going to start cooking without you, when the nice girl wants to come back she can help.” and I let her continue throwing a fit and acted like she wasn’t. I have learned that ignoring her sometimes works because she isn’t getting to help and she loves that because then she can say,”I helped” After about another half hour she sat down at the table and looked at me to see if I was going to say something like,”awww angie I am so glad you stopped throwing a fit” I wasn’t going to do that. If I make a big deal out of it she’ll think she can do it all the time and I don’t want that. Finally we had dinner cooked and ready. Fit one had and handled.

Sunday we got up around 7 for medicine and then got dressed and Angie and I started to cook breakfast. fried eggs sausage and cornbread. Amber went to get Jimmy with my dad and then get coffee like they always do when they need him. After they got Jimmy I asked Amber to come in the kitchen and eat something because with her medicine she needs to eat or it makes her sick and she refused and because I said,”ok then you can’t help Jimmy” she threw a fit and threw her shoes and jacket and her juice.  After I calmed her down and made her clean up her mess (oh yes she doesn’t get treated like a baby) she finally ate something, even though it was small it was something. Fit two, had and handled.






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Intro to us and what we are about.

So this is my first time at this. I mean I have a journal and all but I don’t usually share that with the universe. A, because I don’t think to many people (unless you have special needs children) would understand and B, because I get worried I am the only one feeling the way I do sometimes. You have to understand I don’t know anyone with special needs kids. My kids go to a regular high school, (I hate) and they are in special needs classes. I don’t interact with the other kids’ parents. I am so not a social butter fly.

OK so a little about us. I am a single mother. I am currently trying to get ssi because my health is not so good. I got into a bad car accident and have never recovered. I was married to my oldest daughters father but that didn’t work out.  He has not seen his daughter since she was one. He tried to a few times but I didn’t think it was a good idea since you never knew when he would get tired of playing dad and leave and I couldn’t put her through that. You know the, “where’s daddy? I don’t know. When is he coming back? I don’t know.” For a brief period of time I was living or should I say my youngest daughters father was living with us but that didn’t work either. He was more of a,” I want 3 or 4 girl friends.” type and I was more the, what! get out! type.

My oldest daughters name is Angelica and she is 18 with the mind or the thought process of an 8 year old. She is in special classes at her high school with about 6 other students like her. They are called high functioning mr. (mentally retarded) She can read and write and she can process a bunch of things at once, but socially she gets lost.  Picture an 18 year old carrying around a stuffed Elmo EVERYWHERE. Angel was diagnosed with aspbergers         syndrome. So sometimes she is 18 and sometimes she is 8 and you never know what your going to get from minute to minute as you will see.

Amber her sister, is 15 going on 6 has absenth seizures and she is lower functioning mr. she is a one task child which means she can’t only process one thing at a time. I.e hang up your coat,or put your play shoes on. If I tried to give her more than one command something would get lost and one thing would get done and the others would never happen. She can’t read and can only mimic write,(she can copy things but not wrote them on her own. I.e write your name.)They are both adhd (attention deficit hyperactive disorder). Which just adds to the fun(used lightly) of day to day life.

So that in a nutshell is us. Hopefully you will stop by and visit, comment or just read and try and understand a little about what its like for us as a special needs family. Maybe you will also take with you some real life usage about dealing with a person or family with special needs.

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